
6. Give them new challenges
Show your child that they can make and accomplish small goals to reach a big accomplishment — like riding a bike without training wheels.
"Parents can nurture confidence by increasing responsibilities that must be met," Pickhardt explains.
7. Avoid creating short cuts or making exceptions for your child
Special treatment can communicate a lack of confidence, Pickhardt says. "Entitlement is no substitute for confidence."
8. Never criticize their performance
Nothing will discourage your child more than criticizing his or her efforts. Giving useful feedback and making suggestions is fine — but never tell them they're doing a bad job.
If your kid is scared to fail because they worry you'll be angry or disappointed, they'll never try new things.
"More often than not, parental criticism reduces the child's self-valuing and motivation," says Pickhardt.
9. Treat mistakes as building blocks for learning
"Learning from mistakes builds confidence," he says. But this only happens when you, as a parent, treat mistakes as an opportunity to learn and grow.
Don't be over-protective of your child. Allow them to mess up every now and then, and help them understand how they can better approach the task next time.
Pickhardt says parents should see "uh-oh" moments as an opportunity to teach their kids not to fear failure.
10. Open the door to new experiences
Pickhardt says you, as a parent, have a responsibility to "increase life exposures and experiences so the child can develop confidence in coping with a larger world."
Exposing children to new things teaches them that no matter how scary and different something seems, they can conquer it.
11. Teach them what you know how to do
You are your child's hero — at least until they're a teenager.
Use that power to teach them what you know about how to think, act, and speak. Set a good example, and be a role model.
Pickhardt says watching you succeed will help your child be more confident that they can do the same.
12. Don't tell them when you're worried about them
Parental worry can often be interpreted by the child as a vote of no confidence, he says. "Expressing parental confidence engenders the child's confidence."
13. Praise them when they deal with adversity
Life is not fair. It's hard, and every child will have to learn that at some point.
When they do encounter hardships, Pickhardt says parents should point out how enduring these challenges will increase their resilience.
It's important to remind your child that every road to success is filled with setbacks, he adds.
14. Offer your help and support, but not too much of it
Giving too much assistance too soon can reduce the child's ability for self-help, says Pickhardt.
"Making parental help contingent on the child's self-help first can build confidence."
15. Applaud their courage to try something new
Whether it's trying out for the travel basketball team or going on their first roller coaster, Pickhardt says parents should praise their kids for trying new things. He suggests saying something as simple as, "You are brave to try this!"
"Comfort comes from sticking to the familiar; courage is required to dare the new and different," he says.
16. Celebrate the excitement of learning
When you're growing up, the journey is more important than the destination.
So whether your child makes the winning goal for his team or accidentally kicks it out of bounds, applaud their effort, Pickhardt says. They should never feel embarrassed for trying.
"Over the long haul, consistently trying hard builds more confidence than intermittently doing well," he explains.
17. Don't allow them to escape reality by spending all their time on the internet
Don't allow your kid to hide behind a computer screen. Instead, encourage them to engage with real people in the real world.
"Confidence in the virtual world (although important) is not the same as real world confidence that offline effectiveness brings," Pickhardt says.
18. Be authoritative, but not too forceful or strict
When parents are too strict or demanding, the child's confidence to self-direct can be reduced.
"Dependence on being told can keep the child from acting bold," he says.
Natalie Walters contributed to a previous version of this article.
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